A reflection on where I stand

I've been in a slump lately. I've felt trapped, almost. Suffocated by my life and lost in the routine.

I got myself back. It took a lucky combination of circumstances: lunch with a friend I'll always love, a class project that excites and terrifies me, deliberate thought about what I want my life to look like, and a clean room. It's cathartic to organize. It's as though the books I stack and the clothes I hang are outlets of thought. When I organize, I understand better what I want, with whom I want to surround myself, and how to pursue what makes me truly happy while making smart choices. A messy room, to me, results in messy thoughts. A (relative) lack of clutter is a lack of confusion. The process of sorting through the clutter is more than metaphorical. Cleaning my room isn't an emotional panacea, but it definitely promotes constructive thought.

I've remembered things about myself that will allow me to shape my circumstances to maximize happiness. I remembered that I need my space. I need time purely to myself, with nobody around, nobody talking to me, nobody monopolizing my attention. I remembered what I really value in friendship, and the factors that'll make it last. I remembered that when I self-isolate, I'm not myself. Balance of social involvement and me-time is crucial.

This post, now that I read over it, is incredibly self-centered. I don't think that's always a bad thing- personal reflection has value. It just has to be done in unobtrusive venues.